This is basically what the girlf and I do all day long on IM:
Angela: hello? is this josh?
Josh: it’s santa!
Angela: OH HAI SANTA
Josh: GET ON MY LAP
Angela: santa … your sack is poking me in the bum
Josh: shh baby
Josh: just tell santa what you want
Angela: for your sack to not be poking me in the bum
Bennett on Thanksgiving Part 1
I’ve seen this one already.
Don’t mess with me or I’ll make the bottom half of your leg disappear.
When Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez’s “Grindhouse” hit movie theaters in 2007, I walked out of that theater knowing one day I would figure out how to dress like Cherry Darling for Halloween, machine gun leg and all. Clearly the issue with this costume is not so much in the fabrication of a machine gun as it is in the the faked disappearance of a limb from the knee down. How the hell do you vanish a leg from knee to toe?
Easy! Just follow these simple steps:
1. For five years, think about how much you want to dress up as Cherry Darling with the machine gun leg, each year deciding it’s absolutely impossible.
2. On the fifth year, tell a bunch of friends who really believe in your craftiness about your machine gun leg idea. Make sure to assert the level of awesomocity and impossibility so they will get super pumped up about it, refusing to let you off the hook. These folks must be able to regularly remind you that no costume will ever be as cool as a half naked, machine-gun-legged zombie killer; especially when you call two weeks before Halloween, begging them to just let you drop the leg thing and dress like Katy Perry.
3. Sit and stare into space for hours, trying to figure out how you’re going to make your massive right calf disappear, before you do what you clearly should have done in the first place. Consult the internet.
4. Google “Cherry Darling Machine Gun Leg,” and see that — WHOA. Someone has done this before. And ohmigod it looks amazing! But how did she do it?
Big thank you’s to all of the retweets, reblogs, comments and link-ings. You’ve made me number one!
Check back later for more pictures. Much, much love.
With Father’s day around the corner these will have to wait but you can bet your sweet patootie as soon as I find out if Nut Butter cookies are available in Canada I’m making some.